GLEE (2.1 - Audition)

Previously On……Glee.

New Directions lost Nationals, Rachel and Finn got back together, Quinn had her baby and gave it to Rachel’s birth mom and Sue Sylvester won an Emmy. And that’s what you missed on Glee. *glee sound*

What a difference a summer makes. Not succumbing to the sophomore slump (or senior, as the kids are now), the opening was a bold statement that both answered their critics in really funny way vis-a-vie Jacob Isreal’s blogterviews (“Mr. Shuester, they want you to stop rapping.”) to ultra defensive (Kurt’s shrieky diatribe about online forum bashing of the show, I mean, the Gleeks). Both still worked as Glee is a show that had a meteoric rise in its first season’s first half and then became as auto-piloted as the singing is auto-tuned in its second half.

A quick recap of everyone’s summer revealed that Finn and Rachel “have been doing it all summer,” Santana got a boob job (!), Brittany got lost in the sewers (?!), Puck got a vasectomy (?!!) and Mike Chang found his voice and lost his shirt, much to my happiness. 

Amongst all of the drama and recapping of existing McKinley High students we we’re given a quartet of new cast members to ponder. Let’s talk a bit about the glory and wonder that is Shannon Bieste (pronounced “Beast,” natch…”it’s French”) played by Dot-Marie Jones. At first we find out that Coach Tanaka had an emotional breakdown and has left his job. When we are introduced to Bieste I almost did a double take – was this actually Ken Tanaka in semi-lady drag? Alas not, but our loss of Tanaka is our gain in Bieste. She is a large, forceful and masculine woman; a complete lesbian gym teacher stereotype and also totally reminded of Martha Dunstock from Heathers, plus 20 years. She’s much more than her gruff exterior shows; she has a heart and feelings that are hurt easily, a fact that Sue attempts to exploit after her Cheerio budget is cut in favor of football.

New footballer Sam (Chord Overstreet, no really) has a secret urge to sing and, in a wonderful nod to last season’s premiere, he is secretly heard belting out Poison in the show, but this time by Finn. He wants to jump in and duet but like, “the guy is totally naked.” Once Finn convinces him to try out for the ND, Puck can’t help but comment on how freakin’ Jolie his lips are. “How many tennis balls can you fit in there? he says. Without missing a beat Sam replies, “I don’t know. I’ve never had balls in my mouth, have you?” Oh, if you only knew what we know is in store, Sam.

Miniscule star Charice appears as Sunshine Corazon, a Filipino student with a knockout voice who alerts Rachel’s bitch-stole-my-spotlight radar. After Rachel sends Sunshine on a wild goose chase to a crack house audition, we get to hear Charice’s pipes and damn, they good. Rachel has a right to be worried, she could easily steal her solos.  I really like that the show isn’t afraid to give us a lead that is so duplicitous and potentially evil in both her motives and actions. Rachel is a selfish, nasty little diva who will Margo any Eve that tries to get in her way. Sure, they soften her out by having the group (or just Finn) give her a proper dressing down, but it gives Lea Michele incredible material that she plays perfectly.

Cheyenne Jackson (le sigh) has a super quick cameo as Dustin Goolsby (these names…), Idina Menzel’s Vocal Adrenaline coach replacement. He’s a fierce bitch with a Hello Kitty backpack that says, “don’t fuck with me, fellas!” After Rachel’s vicious bitchery against Sunshine, Goolsby scoops up Sunshine for VA, a deadly blow to ND. Thanks, Rach!

I really wished they had worked the Finn-as-cheerleader angle more because it’s kind of a brilliant idea. Sure, he can’t dance to save his life but male cheerleaders and female football coaches are great counter balances. Maybe it’ll come to fruition in future episodes.

The musical numbers were all shockingly on point. Even after the rap-hating diatribe in the opening, the kids belt out “Empire State of Mind” in anticipation of this years’ nationals being in New York and do so successfully. I could have done without the Vanilla Ice outfits though. The duet/fight between Rachel and Sunshine on “Telephone” was stellar, with both ladies going toe to toe and note for note against each other. This is a great rivalry. Chord Overstreet’s “Billionaire” was good, if a bit John Mayer, but let us know that he’s a real crooner in this group. Sunshine’s solo, “Listen,” from Dreamgirls was…..awe-inspring. As the rest of the Glee club cheered and got more excited, Rachel squirmed more and more. Delicious. Never fear though, she got her own (closing the show, of course) with “What I Did For Love,” an attempt to correct her nasty behavior. While it may not totally have done that, it made sure we know why she’s the diva (sorry, Kurt).

Expectations and hopes are high for the new season of last year’s zietgiest show, and if they can keep up with the wit and satire of this first episode, we’re in for a real slushy of a treat.